Ranking the Star Wars and Indiana Jones Movies #14

Yesterday was the Blu-ray release of SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY, the 10th SW movie!

Yes, yes, I know there’s the Ewok spin-off TV movies and the Clone Wars animated film, but I’m talking about Star Wars movies that are both live action and theatrically released.

(Come to think of it, though, if I remember right, one of the Ewok spin-off movies actually did have a short theater run somewhere outside of the United States, so just to be safe, maybe I should say I’m talking about live action SW movies released in U.S. theaters.)

Anyway, with ten SW movies now easily accessible at home, it seems like a good time to rank them, ordering them from least favorite up to the best.

(I’m only considering the original theatrical release of each film. Special Editions, etc, will not be acknowledged here.)

And just for fun, I’m going to throw the four Indiana Jones movies into the mix, that being the other Lucasfilm cash cow.

So, considering the SW and IJ films, which one do I rank at #14, in last place?

I’ll give you a hint:

“I don’t like sand.”

That’s right.

ATTACK OF THE CLONES (2002).

True, I saw it five times in the theater and bought it twice – on DVD and later when all six films (at the time) came out in a Blu-ray set.

What can I say, it wasn’t all bad.

Let’s talk positives first.

Once again, John Williams provided a fantastic soundtrack (that I purchased and listened to over and over, prior to the film’s release).

I like the cloning facility on Kamino. It has a nice creepy feel to it.

Christopher Lee as Count Dooku is fantastic!

Escaping the execution-by-critters and the following skirmish in the arena is a lot of fun. (Minus the dialogue between Anakin and Padme.)

The big battle at the end when the clones show up is quite spectacular. (Minus the dialogue between Anakin and Padme.)

I like the asteroid field chase.

I like seeing more of Coruscant.

Cool to see Yoda training the kiddos.

It always feels good to return to Tatooine, and I get a kick out of seeing a young Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.

It’s great to see Mace Windu in action.

And it’s pretty great to see more of Palpatine’s master plan unfold.

BUT…

Anakin, you know, the leading character, is super annoying and unlikable throughout the entire movie.

Every moment that contains dialogue between Anakin and Padme is vomit inducing. And there’s a lot of that. A whole lot of that.

In fact, the only way I can enjoy watching this movie now is by skipping past large portions of it. And even during some of the scenes I enjoy, I still have to have the mute button on hand to blip out lines from Anakin and Padme. Don’t ask me how I got through the entire thing five times in the theater, but I have the ticket stubs to prove it.

Another gripe is that the lightsaber dueling at the end (Obi-Wan and Anakin vs. Dooku followed by Yoda vs. Dooku) is pretty weak compared to the Darth Maul dueling we got in THE PHANTOM MENACE.

Also, giving Boba Fett an origin story was a mistake. Boba should have been kept a total mystery. I do like Jango Fett, but would have preferred for that character to have been a Mandalorian bounty hunter with no relation to Boba.

There’s more negative things to point out, but oh my, look at the word count. It’s time to wrap this up.

I actually enjoy ATTACK OF THE CLONES quite a bit when skipping past half the movie. There’s a lot of fun, worthwhile stuff.

But when considering the complete movie, it easily falls to last place among the SW and IJ movies. At least for me.

#14 Attack of the Clones

Grade: D

Do you agree or disagree? Which of the Star Wars and Indiana Jones movies would you put lowest on the list?

 

COMING TOMORROW:

MY CHOICE FOR #13