Toydust here.
We interrupt our usual posts about books, toys, and writing to bring you this report.
News-Finder Bob claims Jon Favreau invited him to the set of the live-action Lion King. While there, he was allowed to take a picture of Claw Johnson (the lion hired to play Mufasa) after filming the (SPOILER ALERT) fall-off-the-cliff scene.
Unfortunately, Claw Johnson was injured while doing this stunt and is currently in a coma.
Reportedly, some of the film crew members were fired for making “lion around” jokes regarding Claw Johnson’s condition.
News-Finder Bob had the opportunity to interview Claw Johnson following the accident:
BOB: Have you ever been in a coma before?
CLAW: No. This is my first one.
BOB: When will you wake up? If ever?
CLAW: I don’t know.
BOB: What was your first acting gig?
CLAW: I was Aslan in a 3rd grade play.
BOB: That must have been a rewarding experience.
CLAW: Sure.
BOB: And of course, you were later hired by Disney to be Aslan in three Narnia films.
CLAW: That’s right!
BOB: Is it true you were offended when Liam Neeson’s voice was dubbed over yours in the final edit of the Narnia films?
CLAW: Yes, but that’s show biz for you.
BOB: Thanks for taking some time to chat with the readers of toydust.com.
CLAW: My pleasure!
Following the interview, News-Finder Bob raided the craft service table and left the set.
The end.
UPDATE:
Toydust here. Again.
A few hours after writing this article something dawned on me: Lions can’t talk. Especially while in a coma. (I came across this bit of trivia in Ranger Rick magazine, if I’m not mistaken.)
When I confronted News-Finder Bob with this condemning piece of evidence, he broke down sobbing. Tears and snot went everywhere.
When he was able to speak again, he confessed to making this news story up. The picture above is actually just a random lion at San Francisco Zoo.
I have to admit this shrewd bit of detective work on my part made me feel like Encyclopedia Brown or Nick Charles. But still, it gave me no pleasure to catch News-Finder Bob in a lie.
I am grieved that a false news story was posted on my blog. News-Finder Bob has been disciplined. Severely.
Toydust out!
WE WILL RETURN WITH AN ALL-NEW POST ON MONDAY, AUGUST 6.
SEE YOU THEN!