Twinkie the Kid

The taste of goodness.

The taste of heaven.

The reason why eating was invented.

Yes, my toy-dusty friends.

I speak…

of Twinkies.

Where would our lives be without Twinkies?

Nay, such a thought is too foul to digest.

According to my calculations, Twinkies will unite humanity.

Someday.

Probably.

And at the center of all this Twinkie goodness is…

A folk hero.

A legend.

A friend to the friendless.

Yes, my toy-dusty friends.

I speak…

of Twinkie the Kid.

Twinkie the Kid is available as a Funko Pop! Now that’s true fame.

Such delicious packaging. Brings a tear to my eye.

There’s also a hard-to-find “Chase” variant.

Both versions are currently being shipped to a Barnes & Noble near you!

(Though the “Chase” variant is being shipped in much lower quantities.)

But my Twinkie the Kid collection doesn’t stop there.

I have a figure that’s roughly compatible with other toy-lines in the six to eight inch range.

But is it just an action figure?

Nay.

That’s right! It’s also a Twinkie dispenser!

The practical applications for a Twinkie dispensing Twinkie the Kid action figure are endless.

Just think.

Have you ever participated in a wrestling match with a Twinkie in your back pocket that you were hoping to snack on after the match?

And were you ever worried that the Twinkie might be smashed during said match?

And did this worry interfere with your ability to wrestle at your best, causing you to lose?

If this has happened to you, please know you are not alone.

By having the Twinkie in your pocket safely protected inside the Twinkie the Kid Twinkie dispenser, you may now wrestle with confidence, knowing it can’t be smashed.

I could go on.

But I don’t want to.

ToyDust out.