Good morning, my toy-dusty friends! Toydust here.
Have you seen the new Harry Potter plush dolls that you can buy at Barnes & Noble?
I picked up a set but am having trouble with the Voldemort one. It started off innocently
enough, I suppose. I woke one morning and saw he had put on some sunglasses. Nothing too terrible, of course, but it still troubled me that a plush doll was moving about on its own when I was asleep.
With the glasses, he reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t place it. I forgot about it and went about my day. The next morning, he also had a toy guitar, and that was when I realized who he reminded me of.
Did my Voldemort plush think he was Joe Satriani? I didn’t give it another thought and
went about my day. The next morning, Voldemort had my Silver Surfer figure posed next to him.
Well my toy-dusty readers, there could be no doubt now of Voldemort’s Satriani
delusion. I am sure you are aware of Joe’s “Surfing with the Alien” which is pretty much the best album ever made.
I decided enough was enough. Voldemort had taken this delusion to an unhealthy
level and so I took away the glasses, guitar and Surfer figure. I didn’t give it another thought and went about my day. The next morning the Voldemort plush stood on top of one of my action figures, as if crushing it.
“Ah,” I said to Voldemort. “You took my Ice-Viper figure, gave it the hat from my Wild
Bill figure, and a cape from one of my Darth Vader figures. In fact, with the red mask, blue hat, and black cape, it looks like me. And now you’re standing on it, as if making some kind of statement.”
Voldemort, being only a plush, didn’t respond, but seemed to glare at me.
“Well,” I said, “I have no idea what you’re trying to say.”
I took the figure away from him and went about my day. But I sense there is trouble
brewing between me and Mr. Voldemort Plush.
Until next time, this is Toydust signing off!